that guy

here's to avoiding That Guy...thanks to Sars...

"When a guy who isn't That Guy comes along, a guy who is right for you, believe me, you are going to know. You aren't going to have to hear these weak excuses; you aren't going to have to analyze the thing to death with your friends over pinot; you aren't going to feel that swoop in your stomach every time he tries to sound casual mentioning another woman's name, and fails. I know the right guy is hard for you to imagine at this point, but I am here to tell you three things: 1) he exists, 2) you deserve him, and 3) he is a paid fucking vacation with free drinks compared to That Guy. But for now, start with a regular old garden-variety vacation from That Guy."

first words

tracking the first thing that i say every morning, for a month, if i remember:

12.19.06: 'fuck that' (in reaction to an estee lauder radio commercial)
12.20.06: 'oh shut up' (reaction to thuman's deli meats commercial)
12.21.06: 'no, go ahead.' (to small child entering school the same time as me)
12.22.06: 'morning.' (to very nice neighbor with u.s. navy hat)
12.23.06: [snort] (at a text message from m. does this count as a word?)
12.24.06: 'it's not time to get up yet gg. go back to sleep sweetness.' (to niece, sleeping in same room as me, awake at 4:31 am)
12.25.06: 'not yet.' (reply to dad's offer of coffee, on drive to brother's house at 6:15 am)
12.26.06: 'if i were you i'd take precaution...' (singing along to ipod.)
12.27.06: 'ow!' (stubbed toe in kitchen)
12.28.06: 'good morning, s. welcome back.' (to co-worker, returning from holiday break)
12.29.06: ''morning!' (to security guard on way into hospital)
12.30.06: "hi, this is [name], calling to cancel my apointment..." (canceling hair appointment for later today)
12.31.06: "what up, party people?" (to the librarian and the reporter, after sleepover)
01.01.07: "i've been throwing up since 7:15 am." (to librarian, after too much new year)
01.02.07: "hold it, hold it!" (to woman in elevator at work. she didn't.)
01.03.07: "lady, you are fucking crazy." (reacting to dr. laura on the today show)
01.04.07: "or, you could just leave..." (reacting to 'little white lies' segment on today show)
01.05.07: "oh, shut up." (reacting to george bush clip on today show)
01.06.07: "yeah, i'm up." (to brother, up at o'dark thirty for drive to pennsylvania)
01.07.07: "good morning gg" (to the peanut)
01.08.07: "yes, this is j________ t___________ " (making credit card payment)
01.09.07: "oh, fuck." (realized halfway to the subway that i'd left my coffee in my apartment)
01.10.07: "ugh, why?" (to myself, awake for no reason at 5:12 am)
01.11.07: "fuck." (slept through alarm)
01.12.07: "hey, are you awake?" (to the lawyer, delivering a wake-up call.)
01.13.07: "hey are you through the tunnel?" (to brother, on his way into the city to go to the museum of natural history)
01.14.07: "hey j_____, are you feeling okay?" (to lawyer, after sleepover)
01.15.07: "okay, okay." (talking to my phone, beeping since 8 am with a text msg from jp)
01.16.07: "excuse me." (to woman blocking subway door.)
01.17.07: "'morning." (to neighbor in stairwell)
01.18.07: "hey, what's going on?" (to desk attendant, radiology)

translations for ridiculous

Dansk (Danish)adj. - latterlig
Nederlands (Dutch)bespottelijk
Français (French) adj. - ridicule
Deutsch (German) adj. - lächerlich
Ελληνική (Greek) adj. - γελοίος, καταγέλαστος
Italiano (Italian) ridicolo
Português (Portuguese) adj. - ridículo, absurdo
Русский (Russian) глупый, смешной
Español (Spanish) adj. - ridículo
Svenska (Swedish) adj. - löjlig
中文（简体） (Chinese (Simplified)) 荒谬的, 可笑的
中文（繁體） (Chinese (Traditional)) adj. - 荒謬的, 可笑的
한국어 (Korean) adj. - 우스운, 엉뚱한, 어리석은
日本語 (Japanese) adj. - ばかげた, 途方もない, 可笑しい
العربيه (Arabic) ‏(صفه) سخيف, مضحك‏
עברית (Hebrew) adj. - ‮מגוחך, ראוי ללעג, אבסורדי‬